When paying for a wedding nowadays, cost can range from $5,000 upwards to $100,000; it depends on the type of reception you'll be having, your themes, the level of luxury, quality, and ambiance.  It will depend on the amount of food, the choices you make in venue - even your attire.  Knockoff or designer dress? Payless dyable shoes, or Manolo Blahniks?

It's so very hard to save money when planning a wedding.  Where can you cut costs to give a little bit of extra budget to another category? One of the last things couples think about is honorarium, or investment in a Reverend or Justice of the Peace to marry them.

Often, it's the last thing on the list for couples who attend a particular church regularly, because they've already had to go through pre-marital counseling, or announce Banns in the church newsletter a specific amount of weeks prior to the ceremony.  Scheduling your pastor is as easy as meeting in the office prior to your counseling.

However, if you're not getting married in a church, very often your church pastor (if you have one,) won't follow you there.  Your denomination might have regulations against them celebrating the covenant of marriage outside of the church walls. They may even require convalidation, a secondary ceremony inside the church during their office hours, for the church to recognize your marriage.

This can quickly put couples off from attending certain churches, or put them off their ideal dream ceremony venue. 

I myself have no qualms of marrying inside or outside the church walls.  As I service all those who wish to be married, religious or not, my "office" is wherever you wish it to be.  If you require me to work with your current parish clergy or celebrant, I am happy to do so, and lend good recommendations for a convalidational testimony.  If you would like to be married in your church, but as an inter-faith ceremony with the presiding celebrant, I am able and willing.

You may not be religious at all, and wish to celebrate your marriage with a ceremony that speaks of your love, wherever you'd like it to be.  Specializing in custom ceremonies is what I do best, as my couples' testimony and reviews show.

Investment or honorarium for a Reverend without a "home church," or a Justice of the Peace can range in pricing, and quality - from $100 to $1000, the terrible to the extraordinary.  You'll want to be sure that you are receiving the best quality services for your investment. What may seem like an expensive venture for "only 20-30 minutes of service," is actually much, much more.  Between your consultation (in person, phone, or video chat,) e-mails, ceremony planning and writing, travel, rehearsal and ceremony time, and pastoral care, I will always be there for you.

Be sure to check the Reviews and Happy Couples page for testimonials!

Warmly,
Rev. Courtenay

Perhaps you're already moved in together prior to the wedding, and perhaps you're waiting to move in until afterwards.  Either way, this advice is the same, my friends.  Whether it be from stress, illness, or something else weighing on their mind - your spouse will never be able to give you 100% of themselves, everyday.  It doesn't leave any energy for them to exist.  You're partners in truth and in name, and partners in marriage must recognize the ebb and flow, the give and take that is congruent with such a relationship.  Sure, it isn't exactly like being with a co-worker, sorting out a project.  I'll tell you a secret though: the only difference is that your spouse knows you physically, whereas your co-worker does not.

You're marrying the love of your life so that you can share every moment spare, every intricacy, and walk together through life.  You're not marrying them so you can have a live in maid, cook, or servant and I'm sure they aren't marrying you for that reason either.  So, you're going to have to work together.  This doesn't mean if they do one chore, you do one.  It's about learning when they can, and when you can; such a thing requires intense communication between spouses.  You can't expect them to have space open during the weekend to help you garden if you don't ask them.  You also can't expect them to do half of it, just because they're your spouse. If they worked especially hard that week, small praise of them helping you even 10% goes a long way.  For all intents and purposes, you would have done it anyway with or without their help.  Even the smallest amount of effort counts towards a successful marriage. 

Remember, it's not about counting how many things they've done for you, or how hard they've tried.  If you know your spouse is trying their hardest in their current condition and circumstances (stress from work, illness, family obligations, etc.) be sure to tell them so. Feeling rewarded for loving you will extend your blissfulness far into your marital future.  Small tokens of appreciation like notes and kisses, thank yous and hugs for helping will help your spouse feel wanted, instead of chattel. You'll find as time goes on, and the more open and honest your communication about your wants and needs of them for the day, week, month, and year, that they will be more willing to give this time and energy to you.

A good way of expressing your needs is to simply ask.  Set a small time aside each day, or even each week, and discuss what you want from them - it can range help in the garden, help shuttling your children to and from baseball games, to even help feeling beautiful. Make it a priority to discuss this in percentages if it works for you. An example would be, "I need you to help me mow the lawn on Friday.  I know you might be tired from work, but I can't do it all myself.  How much energy (or time) can you set aside for me?" If your spouse knows you'd like them to help, they probably will think of it before going out late with friends the night before, and subsequently dragging through work on Friday, only to have 10% of energy left to help you with that lawn.  But, be flexible.  Sometimes, those late night friend emergencies can't wait, and things come up at work.  If they can offer only so much, be grateful for what is given.  With praise, love, and devotion expressed towards your helpmeet for doing their spousal duties, it will become clear that this is the kind of loving action that spans decades.  Even when you're too tired or ill to express yourself physically, or too mentally stressed to express it emotionally, the love of action speaks volumes.